The Puppy Blues: Raising Puppies Sucks Sometimes
The “puppy blues” can make it hard to enjoy life with your puppy. Plus? Puppies kind of suck. Here’s how to cope.
Picture this: you’re at a coffee shop patio with your friends. Your puppy is in your lap, looking adorable, being a perfect angel, and attracting oohs and ahhs from everyone who passes by. You should be SO HAPPY, but all you feel is…anxiety.
You can’t enjoy the moment because you’re worried about your puppy catching parvo, having a bad experience with a stranger, getting stung by a bee, or any of the other “what ifs” you can think of. You haven’t slept properly in days because your puppy is waking up several times during the night, crying. You’re an anxious, sad, overwhelmed mess.
Welcome to the Puppy Blues.
Thanks, I hate it.
What are the Puppy Blues?
The “puppy blues” describes a combination of intense feelings that hit lots of puppy owners within the first few weeks of bringing a new pup home. When you have the puppy blues, you might feel anxious, terrified, overwhelmed, sad, and isolated.
Why?
Because puppies turn your life upside down. One reason so many people experience a type of depression after getting a puppy is that so much changes all at once. If you’re feeling exhausted and sad, it’s probably due to a combination of the following:
Sleeping less due to nighttime potty breaks
Stressing out about puppy behavior problems
Mourning the loss of your freedom
Worrying about your puppy getting sick or injured
Feeling the pressure to be “perfect” as a puppy raiser
Being overwhelmed by the responsibility of caring for your needy puppy
Worrying that you should be just as in love with your puppy as everyone else
Looking at that list, it’s not surprising that most people experience the puppy blues to some degree. What’s more surprising is that people expect you to be ecstatic 24/7 when you have a baby puppy!
Want help getting through the puppy stage? Learn more about our courses!
You’re Not Imagining It, Puppies Kind of Suck
Let’s get something out of the way right now: puppies suck. Puppy behavior will test you and might even bring you to tears (ask us how we know). Puppies are exhausting, needy, and they have to pee approximately every millisecond. Yes, it’s totally normal for young puppies to pee as often as once every 15 minutes when they’re awake and active!
Puppy biting is something that a lot of people aren’t expecting. The shark teeth are real and can be relentless. If you had visions of an adorable puppy sleeping in your lap and instead you’re constantly being assaulted by a tiny monster, it’s understandable to feel overwhelmed.
Puppies also don’t care about your personal property. They have an urge to chew, and they can be destructive, even with the best puppy-proofing. They will damage your most expensive items with no remorse whatsoever.
When it comes to puppies, expectations almost NEVER line up with reality.
The good news is that common puppy “problems” will pass without much intervention, for the most part.
You shouldn’t feel like you’re doing something wrong if your puppy is having accidents or managed to mangle one of your socks. Don’t worry that your puppy will grow up to bite children if they’re mouthy. They will stop using flesh as a chew toy as they grow up and they’ll eventually have more bladder control.
Puppies kind of suck, and it’s okay to admit it!
So, How Can You Cope with Common Puppy Problems?
If you’ve got the puppy blues, it can feel like things will never get better. They will, but you have to survive in the meantime. Here are some tips for coping with the puppy blues and getting through the general awfulness of the puppy stage.
Use Your Management Tools!
Since puppies get into everything, we recommend having safe ways to manage their activity when you can’t supervise them with your full attention. An ex-pen, tether station, and crate are all great tools for safety and sanity. Use them, and don’t feel guilty about it. If your puppy’s needs are met, it’s absolutely fine for them to settle down and have some quiet time so you can do other important things.
Realize That They’re Babies
If you’re wondering how to stop your puppy from being destructive or biting you, take a pause and realize that they’re babies. At this stage, you have to manage the environment around them instead of thinking you’ll be able to train them not to chew on your stuff before they can even control their bladder.
Put Your Puppy Down For a Nap (Seriously)
Have you ever seen an overtired toddler? They get louder and more obnoxious instead of sweet and sleepy. The same goes for puppies. The worse your puppy’s behavior, the more likely it is that they need a nap, stat.
Whenever you find yourself frustrated by your puppy’s behavior (and it will probably happen a lot!), ask yourself: “when was their last nap?” Chances are, they’ve played and gotten tired without you realizing it. Put them in their pen or crate for a nap. Young puppies need a ton of sleep (think up to 20 hours a day!), and you need a break!
Take a Dang Shower and Get Some Sleep
The puppy blues get worse when you’re not getting enough sleep and you haven’t showered. It’s easy to neglect your own self-care when you’re caring for a baby dog. So, if you really need a shower and a nap, take them. Use your pen or crate and GO. Seriously.
Take Some Pressure Off Yourself
How much time are you spending trying to do everything the “right” way with your puppy? Instead of stressing out about every little thing, try just hanging out with your puppy.
Sit in the grass together if it’s available to you. If it isn’t, sit on the floor, play, cuddle, and forget about training and expectations. Bonding is hard enough without putting tons of pressure on yourself!
Keep a Puppy Journal
If you have anxiety (who with a new puppy doesn’t?!), then keeping a puppy journal can be a great way to document the ups and downs of each day. It’s an outlet that you can use to vent about the bad and celebrate the good. Plus, you’ll be able to see how far you’ve come together in a short period of time.
How long should you keep up with your puppy journal? As long as it’s helpful!
Ask For Support
You don’t have to do this alone! If you have friends and family available to help, ask for it! Chances are, people will be thrilled to spend time with your adorable fuzzball, bring you food, or otherwise help you feel less isolated.
If you don’t have that kind of support network, look for supportive communities online (like SuperPup!) where you can talk with other puppy owners and ask questions. Just keep in mind that a *lot* of online dog communities are…less than friendly and might give poor or unsolicited advice. Take a look at how people respond to questions in an individual group before you decide to take part in any discussions or post yourself!
Don’t Internalize Unsolicited Advice
You WILL get tons of unsolicited advice about raising your puppy. This can make you feel like you’re doing everything wrong or you’re putting your precious baby at risk because you gave them an ice cube or let them play longer than 5 minutes in the backyard.
Don’t let it get to you. If you need help, ask someone you trust. There’s a lot of misinformation out there that’s based on opinion and bad science. Don’t take everything you hear at face value, and don’t think that you’re ruining your pup for life with everything you do.
It’s Really Okay if You Don’t Like Your Puppy Sometimes
You just met your puppy, and so far, their cuteness is probably their best attribute. It’s okay to not like them sometimes.
It takes time for a bond to develop. It takes time for a puppy to settle into their new home and grow to like YOU.
They’ve just left everything they’ve ever known, and you’re essentially strangers to each other. Give the relationship time. Realize that it’s okay if there are days when you don’t like your puppy very much.
You are not a monster. They have turned your life upside down. Chances are, you’ll start to like them a lot in the near future when things get easier and you both get to know each other!
Remember, They Will Grow Up
Puppyhood is brief. It really is. Once they are out of the tiny baby stage and have more independence, things will be easier.
You’ll still have to deal with your puppy’s developing brain for a couple of years, but they will have better bladder control and should be less mouthy. You’ll be able to leave them alone for longer periods of time, which will help you feel more like yourself again.
You Can Do This, But Raising a Puppy is HARD
When the puppy blues strikes, you might think “I can’t do this” dozens of times a day. You can. You will get through the worst of it, and you’ll get to enjoy your wonderful adult dog (well, after you get through adolescence…but that’s a topic for another day!).
At SuperPup, we don’t pretend that raising a puppy is easy. It isn’t. But you can do it, and we’re always here to help! Drop us a line if you have questions about our courses. We’d LOVE to meet you and your puppy and help you build an incredible bond!
