Best Friends: Healthy Dog-Kid Relationships
Dogs and kids go together like peanut butter and jelly. How can you, as a parent, help foster healthy dog-kid relationships? Here are some tips!
Most people who grew up with dogs at home have wonderful memories of their furry best friends. Helping to facilitate that kind of relationship with your own children and your pets is an amazing gift that will help to ensure that everyone can live in the home with mutual love, respect, and understanding.
Relationships between dogs and kids are often viewed in a negative way in today’s culture. There’s a lot of fearmongering out there that makes people believe their dog and child can’t safely interact except in very specific ways. However, if you use common sense and help both dogs and kids learn each other’s boundaries, you can set them up for a healthy relationship that enriches both their lives.
So, what’s the best way to approach a relationship between kids and dogs? Here are some things to keep in mind if you’re planning on bringing home a new member of the family–or if you just want to help strengthen an existing bond.
Setting Expectations: a Critical Step
If you’re bringing home a new baby soon, it’s important to realize that some of your dog’s current behavior patterns might not be compatible with your needs as new parents. What is totally fine in a home with no children might become a problem once the baby comes home.
A good way to start setting realistic expectations is to take an inventory of the behaviors your dog has that you don’t necessarily love but that you’ve learned to deal with. Does your dog jump up on you? Will they steal food that’s left at nose height? Do they take running leaps onto the couch and crash into you?
All of these behaviors are perfectly normal things that dogs–especially young and silly dogs–do. When there’s a new baby or young children around, however, these minor misdeeds can become a problem.
Once you’ve made that list of behaviors, the next step is to create a management plan around them. Yes, we are actually suggesting that you do NOT put your energy into retraining these behaviors, at least for now. Why? Because modifying those behaviors is likely to be a long-term project, and you don’t want them to be a safety issue in the meantime.
Depending on the behavior you’re seeing, there might be a variety of management solutions that will work well for your family. You might need to use tether stations and baby gates (see our post on safe setups for more information) or have your dog wear a harness/tab you can use to prevent them from jumping up. If your dog barks a lot, a white noise machine in both the baby’s room and the room where the dog is likely to bark can be a good way to minimize loud barking that wakes the baby.
As every parenting resource will tell you, you’re going to be tired when you bring your new baby home. Instead of trying to train your dog out of established behavior when you’re exhausted, just use some smart management strategies to keep everyone safe, calm, and comfortable!
Practicing for Your Baby’s Arrival
Bringing home a new baby is a huge change for everyone, humans and dogs alike. It’s hard to know how your dog will react when you first come home with a new baby, but there are things you can do to “practice” for your child’s arrival.
Think about things from your dog’s perspective. Will they want to jump up and sniff that bundle in your arms? That’s normal–but their nails could also end up scratching delicate newborn skin. If you practice coming into the house with a bundle in your arms, however, you can teach your dog that jumping up and smelling it isn’t something you want them to do.
If your dog is going to be using a tether station or spending more time in their crate after the baby comes home, take some time to practice that so it’s not another change on top of bringing a new baby home. It’s upsetting for dogs to have the routines and rules change on them suddenly, so ease them into it as much as you can.
Consider the routines you want to establish and your plan for managing household dogs in the presence of your new baby. Work backward and try to get your dog familiar with those routines before you bring an exciting new bundle home.
Bringing Home a New Dog? Anticipate a Little Chaos
If you’re bringing home a new puppy or adult dog and you have children, realize that things will be a little chaotic at first. You’ll probably need to rely on management tools like pens, gates, and crates, especially if you have littles running around and leaving things all over the place.
You’ll also want to figure out your training priorities before you bring your new dog home. Working on trading objects (drop it) will be important if you have small children. You might also be concerned about jumping up and want to be prepared to curb it if necessary. Realizing that you are going to have to prioritize will make bringing your dog home less stressful and allow you to focus on family bonding.
Helping Dogs and Kids Set Healthy Boundaries
Kids and dogs need to be able to communicate safely. When someone needs a break on either side of the equation, it’s important that they can let each other know without too much drama.
Learning to set and enforce healthy boundaries is something that takes practice. A young child might not know that when a dog walks away and doesn’t come back, they might be saying that they need a break. A young dog might get too excited, overwhelm a young child, and not know how to calm back down.
Parents can help young kids set boundaries with household dogs by learning a word like “no” or “stop” that can indicate to the dog that they need a break. When your child says that word to the dog, you can call your pup over for a cookie (keep jars all over the house or stash some in your pockets)! Eventually, they will associate the word with a recall to you, providing some space between the child and the dog. Once the dog has recalled, you can gauge whether or not a longer break is needed.
To help dogs set boundaries, it’s important for children to learn that when a dog moves away (unless it’s part of the game that everyone is enjoying), they don’t follow. Respecting dogs’ boundaries is an important part of the child-dog relationship.
It’s also important to provide a space that’s not punishing to the dog for enforcing a boundary. Some dogs might not want to spend time in their crate when they need a break, for instance, but they might be happy with a baby gate in place to give them some peace.
When to Intervene
Sometimes, younger kids and younger dogs might not know when they need a break, and they might need someone to intervene. As a parent, it’s important to understand that when a puppy is being really wild and nippy, they might need a nap. The same goes for young children!
Active supervision is key. Observing these interactions closely and responding when the dog or child feels uncomfortable (and communication between them isn’t working) is important for building trust. You shouldn’t have to be an expert in dog body language to successfully supervise interactions between your dog and child, but if you want a good resource on canine body language, check out Doggie Language by Lili Chin.
A word on growling: if your dog growls at your child, be sure to just say “thank you” as calmly as you can and remove the kid from the situation immediately. Punishing a dog for growling can have dangerous consequences because dogs growl in warning. As scary as it is when a dog growls at your child, the first response should always be “thank you” and to walk away.
Facilitating Fun Activities for Kids and Dogs
Play is one of the best ways for dogs and kids to bond. The key is to make sure that everyone can have fun while staying safe. There are countless games that dogs and kids can play together, from fetch to frolicking in a splash pad in hot weather.
Activities for kids and dogs will vary a lot depending on the age of the kid, the age of the dog, and the personalities of both! Watching a movie with a newborn in a sling and the dog on a different part of the couch could be an early bonding experience. Playing with a big ball or a long tug toy could allow a toddler and dog to play without hands getting too close to sharp puppy teeth.
There are lots of super simple activities you can set up for dogs and kids. Even something as easy as having your child carry a handful of cookies and dropping them like a trail of breadcrumbs can be a fun game for everyone. Dog-safe bubbles, hide-and-seek, and hiding treats are all great options. Get creative! Just ensure that everyone understands and enjoys the game.
Family Outings for Bonding
Going out and about as a family can also be a lot of fun. Just keep in mind that sometimes, bringing your dog along for the ride can be challenging if you’re also trying to wrangle a young child.
Before you load everyone up for a hike or a trip to the farmer’s market, think about the logistics. Will you be able to safely manage your dog and kiddo at the same time? What’s likely to happen if you get distracted? Will you have someone else along to help you? Will the destination be crowded?
Sometimes, bringing everyone along is a great bonding experience. Sometimes, it’s better to just bring your kids or your dog–and not both. It’s easy for dogs (and kids) to practice unwanted behavior in public when you’re distracted by other things. Be realistic and consider how bringing your kids and dogs will affect your experience of the outing as well!
Getting Kids Involved with Dog Care
As a parent, you are ultimately responsible for any animals in your home. You need to be the one who ensures that your dog’s needs are being met. Even if you have an older child who swears that they will do all the work of caring for the dog, assume that you will end up being the one in charge of poop scooping, feeding, and exercising the dog.
With that said, kids love to be involved in dog care, and including them in the daily pet care tasks can help strengthen the bond between them and their dog. These responsibilities will look different depending on the child’s age, of course.
A young child might be able to help with dog care by putting premeasured food into a bowl, for instance, or helping their parent pick out toppers. When they get a little bit older, they can learn how to measure the food themselves or fill a puzzle toy for the dog that the adult can then give to the dog.
Older kids can help with more complex activities like training. It’s not only a fun activity for kids and their dogs to do together, but it can be a great way for them to build confidence and try something new. Just make sure that everyone is on the same page so your dog doesn’t get confused!
Keep in mind that even older kids will need some supervision when carrying out dog care tasks, especially the first few times. Make sure they understand the steps and help them perform each task safely. Once they’re old enough and know how to complete these tasks independently, they might not need supervision.
Raising Dogs and Kids: Make Life Easier for Yourself
When you’re raising kids and dogs together, realistic expectations are key. You need to keep the personalities of everyone involved in mind. Different kids and dogs will have different relationships.
Some dogs tolerate children but might not ever develop the tight bond that so many kids and dogs have. However, even in these situations, there are ways to get the kids involved, such as going on a family hike or baking dog cookies together.
When the relationship between a dog and a child is based on love and respect, there are endless opportunities for bonding moments and beautiful memories. Be prepared, but don’t assume the worst. Instead, set your kids and your dogs up for an incredible friendship by emphasizing safety, agency, and fun activities. Relax a little, and enjoy the ride.
If you’d like to learn more about helping dogs and kids coexist in harmony, join our Patreon! SuperPup Academy patrons at different tiers have access to bimonthly study halls, a private Facebook group for questions and feedback, and even private coaching.
